congratulations! you've become a parody

This is, hands fucking down, the dumbest fucking thing I've ever read in my life. A snippet:

It’s December 2030, and I’m shopping with my grandson in a mall in Northern Virginia. We’ve purchased a gift for a relative.

“Gift wrap?” inquired the clerk.
“Yes, thanks.”

“Happy Chanukah, Merry Kwanzaa, or Eid Greetings?”
I frowned. The clerk whispered, “Listen, I think there may still be a few rolls of Christmas wrap in the back if you want…”

My grandson looked up at me and asked, “Why is the man whispering, Grandpa?”
The clerk leaned over the counter: “The store’s Diversity Regulations stipulate that we’re no longer permitted to offer anything saying ‘Christmas.’”

“Grandpa,” David asked, “when did the stores stop offering Christmas paper?”
“I’m not exactly sure,” I replied, “but I do remember that already back in 2005 stores like Kohl’s and Target no longer allowed their employees to say ‘Merry Christmas.’ Now even schools are forbidden to print the word ‘Christmas’ on their calendars in the December 25th box.”

Logic is useless against drivel like this. It's like spraying a turd with perfume. (Thanks to Pharyngula for the link. Although, I don't know if I should be particularly thankful for being made aware of this tedious bullshit.)