cheese sux

Today I went to one of these "white Mexican" places that are in over-abundance here in Orange County and ordered a burrito with beans, rice, and salsa. Usually this place gets my order right, but today I discovered cheese halfway through my burrito. This presented itself as somewhat of a problem because on one hand I'm vegan, but on the other I dislike wasting food. So I just decided to eat thing. God, it was nasty. I seriously fucking hate cheese. It tastes like shit (read: like milk) and makes me all phlegmy. Even when I was vegetarian I could only tolerate cheese in small amounts, and only certain cheeses at that; namely, sharp cheese. Extra-razor-blade sharp cheese is the only cheese I actually enjoyed eating, but even that started to taste too much like milk. Have I mentioned that I fucking despise milk? All my life I've hated it. Even as a meat-eating, cheese-sniffing manly man. Foul beverage. The last time I had milk was back in 2003 when I made the massive mistake of having a few swigs of my ex's egg nog. I spent about two hours on the toilet, shitting out my pancreas. Milk hates my stomach about as much as I hate milk.

Having said all this, though, whenever I make it back east and visit NYC, I plan on suspending my veganism for a few hours (or a day or two) in order to try some famous NY pizza. Hell yeah, Louie.

Oh yeah, if you're vegan and you're ever in Portland, OR. you should try two places: The Pho Jasmine in north Portland, on Killingsworth, just off Albina. It's right across from the PCC-Cascade campus. It's pretty amazing Thai food and I'm pretty fucking snobby about my Thai. There's a vegetarian/vegan menu with dozens of dishes to choose from. I dunno what they do to the tofu, but the shit is like the fluffiest scrambled egg ever, and I don't even like scrambled egg. The other place is La Villa, off Morrison, in SE Portland. I think it's 719 SE Morrison. The best motherfucking falafel you will eat outside the Middle East. Hands down, my favorite dish ever. Ever. There's the regular falafel sandwich and then there's super—go with the super. The regular is fantastic, but the super is the sort of thing you'd sell your mother for. The tahini is out of control. And totally vegan. Everyone I've brought there has been converted. Okay, I've only brought two people there, but they were hard sells. Very picky about their food. And both conceded the awesomeness of the super. And only $5, no sales tax. The regular is $3. And the place has great ambience. Very relaxed, low lighting. Great place. Seriously, the greatest falafel in north America. Fuck, I need to go back to Portland.